Home!!

He made it home safely...and is gone again. 

Coming home: As soon as we pulled into the airport the kids almost immediately figured out what we were doing.  Within moments of being at the airport the welcome home committee was talking to us and I couldn't pull off trying to keep it a secret.  Then we waited and waited and waited.  The plane landed on time but the conveyor was broke and off loading the airplane and processing them through took way longer than I would have imagined.  While we waited, I was flooded with emotions.  I was excited to see him, nervous about what was going to happen, wondered how the kids were going to handle the transition, but mostly I wondered if I could do this again.  I know it isn't the last deployment and I wonder if it would be any easier if I knew how many more were to come.  But as we waited, the kids lost interested and were done.  By the time he walked through the doors the kids were laying down on the benches.  It wasn't exactly the picture perfect moment I had envisioned.  He was home and it was time to enjoy the day.

The rest of the week: Whenever he leaves I build up a wall and I feel like I go into defense mode.  I feel like I have to "be strong" for the kids and not show them the struggles.  As much as I would like it to, the wall doesn't fall down over night.  It is hard to go back to a "normal" life.  I struggled with the transition this time around.  I can't even pin point one thing that was wrong or what was so tough about it.  I loved having him home it was just different. 

Now: He left today for a week long conference.  As much as I would love to just have him home how could I not let him go?  What was the point of deploying if you can't come back and share with others what you learned?  I want him to make a difference and pass on his knowledge.  

I told him today, well, I didn't kill any plants or kids.  I guess that makes it a successful deployment.