We are all humans and we make mistakes. It is so much funnier when you get caught by your kids. We set up email accounts for the kids so they could email him. They have been emailing off and on and he is good about responding right away to their emails. I, however, am not so good at having them check it and responding back. Last night she checked her email and he hadn't responded so this is what she wrote:
Dad
I see nothing at all from you. I just don't get it. I emailed you on the Jun 19.
She follows that up with another email a minute later:
LOVE YOU
He was BUSTED!! Needless to say, she had an email from him this morning.
Sunday, June 26, 2011
Thursday, June 23, 2011
Camping
The next day, we were at the pool when I over heard the oldest trying to explain to a boy she was hanging out with that her dad was deployed. He said, you mean he is dead? She yelled, no he is deployed. It means he is gone for 6 whole months! She walked away. In that moment, I realize how we have protected them. Their entire world is the military. Their friends, most of their school, everyone around us. At such a young age it is hard for them to image it is a world that not everybody understands. Not everyone's dad has had to leave, they don't move because of his job, and he gets to spend the weekends with them. I wonder how they will look back on this experience. Will they resent us for the decision that we made? Is two loving parents who care about them enough to overcome him being gone? Have we done everything we can? Answers I won't know until it is too late.
That evening we were sitting by the campfire and one of the kids asked, what time is it? Someone responded with, it is 5:15. The kids looked at each other and said, the National Anthem didn't play.
Saturday, June 18, 2011
Beginning of Summer
Summer has officially started and so has the hard part. It seems silly but it is actually easier during the school year. As crazy as life is during that time, it gives us structure and something to look forward to, something to pass the time, take our minds of life. Summer is filled with vacations, family time, picnic, neighborhood bar-b-ques. All are reminders that he isn't home. I look forward to the slower pace but without him to break-up our day or week I wonder if I can keep us all busy enough not to go crazy.
Thursday, June 16, 2011
Deployment Preparations
I will never claim to know what it is like to deploy or have an understanding of some of the conditions that we ask our soldiers to live in. I came home from Christmas my freshman year of college and my brother had just returned from boot camp. I woke up the next morning and found him in the basement sleeping on the floor. The next night he claimed it was too quiet and dark to sleep. As much as we joked with him, I think the transition can be difficult.
No, I didn't write this. But I still thought it was funny and I am sure it is more true than I realize.
How to Prepare for a Deployement
■Sleep on a cot in the garage.
■ Replace the garage door with a curtain.
■ Six hours after you go to sleep, have your wife or girlfriend whip open the curtain, shine a flashlight in your eyes and mumble, "Sorry, wrong cot."
■ Renovate your bathroom. Hang a green plastic sheet down from the middle of your bathtub and move the shower head down to chest level. Keep four inches of soapy cold water on the floor. Stop cleaning the toilet and pee everywhere but in the toilet itself. Leave two to three sheets of toilet paper. Or for best effect, remove it altogether. For a more realistic deployed bathroom experience, stop using your bathroom and use a neighbor's. Choose a neighbor who lives at least a quarter mile away.
■ When you take showers, wear flip-flops and keep the lights off.
■ Every time there is a thunderstorm, go sit in a wobbly rocking chair and dump dirt on your head.
■ Put lube oil in your humidifier instead of water and set it on "HIGH" for that tactical generator smell.
■ Don't watch TV except for movies in the middle of the night. Have your family vote on which movie to watch and then show a different one.
■ Leave a lawnmower running in your living room 24 hours a day for proper noise level.
■ Have the paperboy give you a haircut.
■Once a week, blow compressed air up through your chimney making sure the wind carries the soot across and on to your neighbor's house. Laugh at him when he curses you.
■ Buy a trash compactor and only use it once a week. Store up garbage in the other side of your bathtub.
■ Wake up every night at midnight and have a peanut butter and jelly sandwich on a saltine cracker.
■ Make up your family menu a week ahead of time without looking in your food cabinets or refrigerator. Then serve some kind of meat in an unidentifiable sauce poured over noodles. Do this for every meal.
■Set your alarm clock to go off at random times during the night. When it goes off, jump out of bed and get to the shower as fast as you can. Simulate there is no hot water by running out into your yard and breaking out the garden hose.
■ Once a month, take every major appliance completely apart and put it back together again.
■ Use 18 scoops of coffee per pot and allow it to sit for five or six hours before drinking.
■ Invite at least 185 people you don't really like because of their strange hygiene habits to come and visit for a couple of months. Exchange clothes with them.
■Have a fluorescent lamp installed on the bottom of your coffee table and lie under it to read books.
■ Raise the thresholds and lower the top sills of your front and back doors so that you either trip over the threshold or hit your head on the sill every time you pass through one of them.
■ Keep a roll of toilet paper on your night stand and bring it to the bathroom with you. And bring your squart gun and a flashlight.
■ Go to the bathroom when you just have to pass gas, "just in case." Every time.
■ Announce to your family that they have mail, have them report to you as you stand outside your open garage door after supper and then say, "Sorry, it's for the other Smith."
■ Go to the worst crime-infested place you can find, go heavily armed, wearing a flak jacket and a Kevlar helmet. Set up shop in a tent in a vacant lot. Announce to the residents that you are there to help them.
■ Eat a single M&M every Sunday and convince yourself it's for Malaria.
■ Demand each family member be limited to 10 minutes per week for a morale phone call. Enforce this with your teenage daughter.
■Sandbag the floor of your car to protect from mine blasts and fragmentation.
■ While traveling down roads in your car, stop at each overpass and culvert and inspect them for remotely detonated explosives before proceeding.
■Drink your milk and sodas warm.
■Spread gravel throughout your house and yard.
■Make your children clear their Super Soakers in a clearing barrel you placed outside the front door before they come in.
■. Continuously ask your spouse to allow you to go buy an M-Gator.
■ When your 5-year-old asks for a stick of gum, have him find the exact stick and flavor he wants on the Internet and print out the web page. Type up a Form 9 and staple the web page to the back. Submit the paperwork to your spouse for processing. After two weeks, give your son the gum.
■ Wait for the coldest/ hottest day of the year and announce to your family that there will be no heat/air conditioning that day so you can perform much needed maintenance on the heater/ air conditioner. Tell them you are doing this so they won't get cold/ hot.
■ Just when you think you're ready to resume a normal life, order yourself to repeat this process for another six months to simulate the next deployment you've been ordered to support.
No, I didn't write this. But I still thought it was funny and I am sure it is more true than I realize.
How to Prepare for a Deployement
■Sleep on a cot in the garage.
■ Replace the garage door with a curtain.
■ Six hours after you go to sleep, have your wife or girlfriend whip open the curtain, shine a flashlight in your eyes and mumble, "Sorry, wrong cot."
■ Renovate your bathroom. Hang a green plastic sheet down from the middle of your bathtub and move the shower head down to chest level. Keep four inches of soapy cold water on the floor. Stop cleaning the toilet and pee everywhere but in the toilet itself. Leave two to three sheets of toilet paper. Or for best effect, remove it altogether. For a more realistic deployed bathroom experience, stop using your bathroom and use a neighbor's. Choose a neighbor who lives at least a quarter mile away.
■ When you take showers, wear flip-flops and keep the lights off.
■ Every time there is a thunderstorm, go sit in a wobbly rocking chair and dump dirt on your head.
■ Put lube oil in your humidifier instead of water and set it on "HIGH" for that tactical generator smell.
■ Don't watch TV except for movies in the middle of the night. Have your family vote on which movie to watch and then show a different one.
■ Leave a lawnmower running in your living room 24 hours a day for proper noise level.
■ Have the paperboy give you a haircut.
■Once a week, blow compressed air up through your chimney making sure the wind carries the soot across and on to your neighbor's house. Laugh at him when he curses you.
■ Buy a trash compactor and only use it once a week. Store up garbage in the other side of your bathtub.
■ Wake up every night at midnight and have a peanut butter and jelly sandwich on a saltine cracker.
■ Make up your family menu a week ahead of time without looking in your food cabinets or refrigerator. Then serve some kind of meat in an unidentifiable sauce poured over noodles. Do this for every meal.
■Set your alarm clock to go off at random times during the night. When it goes off, jump out of bed and get to the shower as fast as you can. Simulate there is no hot water by running out into your yard and breaking out the garden hose.
■ Once a month, take every major appliance completely apart and put it back together again.
■ Use 18 scoops of coffee per pot and allow it to sit for five or six hours before drinking.
■ Invite at least 185 people you don't really like because of their strange hygiene habits to come and visit for a couple of months. Exchange clothes with them.
■Have a fluorescent lamp installed on the bottom of your coffee table and lie under it to read books.
■ Raise the thresholds and lower the top sills of your front and back doors so that you either trip over the threshold or hit your head on the sill every time you pass through one of them.
■ Keep a roll of toilet paper on your night stand and bring it to the bathroom with you. And bring your squart gun and a flashlight.
■ Go to the bathroom when you just have to pass gas, "just in case." Every time.
■ Announce to your family that they have mail, have them report to you as you stand outside your open garage door after supper and then say, "Sorry, it's for the other Smith."
■ Go to the worst crime-infested place you can find, go heavily armed, wearing a flak jacket and a Kevlar helmet. Set up shop in a tent in a vacant lot. Announce to the residents that you are there to help them.
■ Eat a single M&M every Sunday and convince yourself it's for Malaria.
■ Demand each family member be limited to 10 minutes per week for a morale phone call. Enforce this with your teenage daughter.
■Sandbag the floor of your car to protect from mine blasts and fragmentation.
■ While traveling down roads in your car, stop at each overpass and culvert and inspect them for remotely detonated explosives before proceeding.
■Drink your milk and sodas warm.
■Spread gravel throughout your house and yard.
■Make your children clear their Super Soakers in a clearing barrel you placed outside the front door before they come in.
■. Continuously ask your spouse to allow you to go buy an M-Gator.
■ When your 5-year-old asks for a stick of gum, have him find the exact stick and flavor he wants on the Internet and print out the web page. Type up a Form 9 and staple the web page to the back. Submit the paperwork to your spouse for processing. After two weeks, give your son the gum.
■ Wait for the coldest/ hottest day of the year and announce to your family that there will be no heat/air conditioning that day so you can perform much needed maintenance on the heater/ air conditioner. Tell them you are doing this so they won't get cold/ hot.
■ Just when you think you're ready to resume a normal life, order yourself to repeat this process for another six months to simulate the next deployment you've been ordered to support.
Monday, June 13, 2011
Girl Power
Somewhere between the first and second deployment, I started making him a list of things I wanted him to do when he returned home. After a few trips, I quickly discovered if anything was going to get done, I had to do it myself. It isn't that he didn't want to do them, he simple didn't have time. I also realized that him working on the the to-do list just took away precious family time. Slowly, I started doing them myself.
This weekend, I was loading up the truck with our recent home improvement store purchases, when our oldest asked, "don't you wish dad was here to help you?" Yes, absolutely! I can't think of a single project that I have done that in the end I said, "man, I am glad I did that one on my own." Not only is he a great help but he adds laughter and advise that I lack when I do it myself. But after she was born, I vowed to teacher her independence and the strength to voyage life without a guy telling her what to do. It isn't that I don't appreciate him being around and enjoy doing things with him. I just don't want them to get a sense that I can't do something unless dad is home. My life doesn't stop when he walks out the door. I want them to see that just because I am a girl, that doesn't stop me. It may take me a little longer than it would a guy but I can do it. So now, I still make list for him but now it is a list of the things I want to do either with him or as a family when he comes home.
This weekend, I was loading up the truck with our recent home improvement store purchases, when our oldest asked, "don't you wish dad was here to help you?" Yes, absolutely! I can't think of a single project that I have done that in the end I said, "man, I am glad I did that one on my own." Not only is he a great help but he adds laughter and advise that I lack when I do it myself. But after she was born, I vowed to teacher her independence and the strength to voyage life without a guy telling her what to do. It isn't that I don't appreciate him being around and enjoy doing things with him. I just don't want them to get a sense that I can't do something unless dad is home. My life doesn't stop when he walks out the door. I want them to see that just because I am a girl, that doesn't stop me. It may take me a little longer than it would a guy but I can do it. So now, I still make list for him but now it is a list of the things I want to do either with him or as a family when he comes home.
Saturday, June 11, 2011
Reasons why...
Reasons why I shouldn't drive his truck:
1. I get road rage. Really, Honda Fit, do you think you should pull out in front of me? I am fairly certain if it came down to it, I would win.
2. I am very much afraid that I am going to run over a little kid. A back-up camera may be in need.
3. I can never park in one parking spot. Sometimes, it is a game to see just how many parking spots I can take up.
4. It is very difficult to load mulch in the back when where a white skirt.
5. A smaller Dodge truck pulled up beside me today with its window down. I almost yelled, "my husband's is bigger."
1. I get road rage. Really, Honda Fit, do you think you should pull out in front of me? I am fairly certain if it came down to it, I would win.
2. I am very much afraid that I am going to run over a little kid. A back-up camera may be in need.
3. I can never park in one parking spot. Sometimes, it is a game to see just how many parking spots I can take up.
4. It is very difficult to load mulch in the back when where a white skirt.
5. A smaller Dodge truck pulled up beside me today with its window down. I almost yelled, "my husband's is bigger."
Wednesday, June 8, 2011
His truck
Yesterday, I was driving home when I turned the corner to our street and saw his truck in the driveway. My heart skipped a beat and for a moment I thought he was home. I was quickly jolted back to reality that I was the one who drove his truck and parked it in the driveway. He wasn't home and won't be for a while. I have to admit I was disappointed.
He sent me an email today about an assignment they are taking volunteers for. He wanted to know what I thought. As much as I am completely supportive and think this assignment would be good my heart still breaks. I know it will require traveling and him being gone. Staying here though means the same thing. I have accepted that part of the Air Force but I can't help but wonder will we ever get an assignment where he is home? There is a huge debate on which is easier a deployment where they are gone but you know what to expect or the constant coming and going where you don't know when they will be home or not. There is a flip side to that, I know that if he ever gets a job where he is home, it will be long hours and days. I wonder if I can do this for at least nine more years.
He sent me an email today about an assignment they are taking volunteers for. He wanted to know what I thought. As much as I am completely supportive and think this assignment would be good my heart still breaks. I know it will require traveling and him being gone. Staying here though means the same thing. I have accepted that part of the Air Force but I can't help but wonder will we ever get an assignment where he is home? There is a huge debate on which is easier a deployment where they are gone but you know what to expect or the constant coming and going where you don't know when they will be home or not. There is a flip side to that, I know that if he ever gets a job where he is home, it will be long hours and days. I wonder if I can do this for at least nine more years.
Sunday, June 5, 2011
Trying to stay close
Tonight, I was uploading pictures of the kids' gymnastics show today. After sorting out the best pictures, I narrowed it done to only 47. I don't know what else to do. I can't change the fact he isn't here. All I can do is try to give him an idea of what we did. Yes, he knows the little one sticks her tongue out any time she is concentrating. Still it is so funny to see her flipping through the air with her tongue sticking out like a dog.
As much as there are times I wish he had to stay home with them and I could "skip town", I can't imagine leaving them for any real length of time. You can't get that time back. They change so much. I hope the pictures, emails, letters, video chats, and boxes from home help keep him close and try to make up a little for everything he has missed.
As much as there are times I wish he had to stay home with them and I could "skip town", I can't imagine leaving them for any real length of time. You can't get that time back. They change so much. I hope the pictures, emails, letters, video chats, and boxes from home help keep him close and try to make up a little for everything he has missed.
Saturday, June 4, 2011
Melt Down
The house is on a verge of a melt down. Last night was give parents a break. For four and half hours the child development centers and youth center will take the children of deployed spouses off our hands, free of charge, twice a month (on set days). Last night, a friend and I dropped off our kids and spent the time enjoying a nice dinner and strolling Target. The downfall...we don't have to pick them up till 11 pm. Generally, my kids do awesome! The next day has never been an issue. Last night, however, was a different story. Our oldest decided she couldn't sleep and was in our room every fifteen minutes or so till 3 am. Finally, she fell asleep but was up at 6:30. I got her to stop whining and go back to sleep around 7. I slept for about 30 minutes or so after that.
Today, we had showers, school physicals at the clinic, a stop for donuts, grocery store for cupcakes, post office to mail a package to dad, bowling party, and a movie all before 4 pm. Considering the lack of sleep, they were doing fairly well. Leaving the grocery store, the oldest did say, "By the tone of your voice, I can tell you aren't very happy with us right now." I wasn't. I was cranky and there was too much to do. But we made it through...till the movies. Half way through, she flipped out. Tears started, she said something about being hungry and she hadn't eaten. I left her in the hall to cry it out. A lady stopped me and asked if she was my child. Yes, but I didn't know what else to do. I had four other kids in the theater all younger. After a few minutes, she some what calmed down and came back to join us.
From there, the down hill started. We got home to lots of fighting, picking at each other, and just them being kids but magnified. My patience is short, I am tired, and counting the hours till it is bed time. Meantime, I guess it is a glass of wine and duct tape.
Today, we had showers, school physicals at the clinic, a stop for donuts, grocery store for cupcakes, post office to mail a package to dad, bowling party, and a movie all before 4 pm. Considering the lack of sleep, they were doing fairly well. Leaving the grocery store, the oldest did say, "By the tone of your voice, I can tell you aren't very happy with us right now." I wasn't. I was cranky and there was too much to do. But we made it through...till the movies. Half way through, she flipped out. Tears started, she said something about being hungry and she hadn't eaten. I left her in the hall to cry it out. A lady stopped me and asked if she was my child. Yes, but I didn't know what else to do. I had four other kids in the theater all younger. After a few minutes, she some what calmed down and came back to join us.
From there, the down hill started. We got home to lots of fighting, picking at each other, and just them being kids but magnified. My patience is short, I am tired, and counting the hours till it is bed time. Meantime, I guess it is a glass of wine and duct tape.
Thursday, June 2, 2011
Happy Anniversary
Two lives, two hearts
joined together in friendship
united forever in love.
joined together in friendship
united forever in love.
Eleven years ago today, I married my best friend. I didn't grow up in a military family and had no what idea being a military wife was going to entail. All I knew was I loved him and I couldn't wait to start our life together. I was up for any adventure that the Air Force would throw our way. And what an adventure it has been! We have traveled the world, started a family, bought our first house, and moved across the country (a few times). We have had to say good-bye to friends as we have moved. Lost family and friends to tragedy. Watched our family and friends start their families. We have laughed together and cried together. There have been good times and times that were there to bring us closer together. The military has become our life and our friends have become family. We have spent much of our relationship and marriage apart but I wouldn't take back a day of those eleven years. I look forward to the future we have and the adventures we will experience. He is my best friend and I can't imagine going through this world without him holding my hand.
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