If you don't see me at the bus stop in the morning it is because I am stuck to the every growing clear goo that was once my kitchen floor or I have tripped over the mound of toys in the living room and hit my head on the fireplace. I am in no way a neat freak but the clutter and mess is beyond out of control. I hope I can hold on 4 more days.
Sometimes, I ask why is he never home when my life is the most stressful? Finals week: 5 tests, 1 power point presentation, 1 lab write up, 4 evaluations, and 1 website update in 5 days. Then there is gymnastics, school book fair, a "family" project, spelling test, field trip, and I am sure I am forgetting something. When I went back to school one of my goals was to give my kids a strong role model for a mother, to teach them perseverance, to show them how to go for your dreams. Then there are moments like this, I wonder if they are learning anything or if they can understand the bigger picture of my life. I wonder if all they see is that the dishes get done when we are out of clean ones? Or am I teaching them procrastination because I waited to the last minute to do the family project. They have had a month to do it but there hasn't been a free moment in my life to help them with it. Do they see that I got five hours of sleep because I spent the day with them instead of working on a case study? That my sacrifice was to give them a better mom?
One of the projects that came home from school last week was titled, Favorites of My Mom, the end said:
Her favorite color is green.
Her favorite food is salad.
She likes to work on the computer.
Not always, but I am sure that is all they see at times.
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