Somewhere between the first and second deployment, I started making him a list of things I wanted him to do when he returned home. After a few trips, I quickly discovered if anything was going to get done, I had to do it myself. It isn't that he didn't want to do them, he simple didn't have time. I also realized that him working on the the to-do list just took away precious family time. Slowly, I started doing them myself.
This weekend, I was loading up the truck with our recent home improvement store purchases, when our oldest asked, "don't you wish dad was here to help you?" Yes, absolutely! I can't think of a single project that I have done that in the end I said, "man, I am glad I did that one on my own." Not only is he a great help but he adds laughter and advise that I lack when I do it myself. But after she was born, I vowed to teacher her independence and the strength to voyage life without a guy telling her what to do. It isn't that I don't appreciate him being around and enjoy doing things with him. I just don't want them to get a sense that I can't do something unless dad is home. My life doesn't stop when he walks out the door. I want them to see that just because I am a girl, that doesn't stop me. It may take me a little longer than it would a guy but I can do it. So now, I still make list for him but now it is a list of the things I want to do either with him or as a family when he comes home.
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