Saying good-bye

Deep inside I believe that all military wives have a common bond, something that you can only understand if you been our shoes. There is a strength that comes from those unique experiences that will forever bond those who have stood by our side. I also believe that pilot’s wives are a different section of the bigger group that makes us unique. I can’t even begin, nor would I want to, count the number of times I have said good-bye to my husband. The number of time he has walk out the door with only a vague idea of when he may return. For some reason though, the word “deployment” brings bigger fears, no matter how long that deployment may be, that makes him leaving hard to swallow.

Last night, I watched my husband pull away for his fifth deployment in our ten years of marriage. My heart broke as I knew the challenges of being single parent meant. I watched as our kids played care-free with their friends. Part of me wanted to scream at them for “not caring” that their dad just left. The other part of me marveled at how simple being a child is. I wanted to keep their innocence, protect them from the world, hold on to those moments and pretend that nothing has changed. But everything has changed, I carry the burden of being both mom and dad, take care of everything this thrown our way, pray that we make it through the next six months without any major incidents. I pray I have the strength to handle what is to come, the wisdom to answer my kids’ tough questions, the patience that being a single parent requires.

Deep inside I know that each deployment brings us closer. I know that I couldn’t be who I am today without this experience. It has shaped me into a stronger mom, a more loving wife, and giving me an appreciation for my husband that I couldn’t have gotten with him home every day. I cherish the little moments we have together more than I ever thought was possible. I count the days he is gone and still get excited when he comes home.