I am FINISHED!! I finished up and submitted my final assignment yesterday. How does it feel? That is hard to say. I feel like I should be excited but for some reason, I'm not. I guess in some ways I feel let down. I don't know. It is hard to put into words. I hate that he isn't here to celebrate with me. He has been the only one who supported me through the entire process. He didn't question why, just supported me. It hasn't been easy. I feel like I have spent the last four years trying to explain to people why. It felt like so many people where against me. I have heard so many times, you are crazy and I don't know why you are doing it. Well, I am so glad I didn't need their support to do it. I am proud that I didn't let them stop me. I am proud that I didn't let deployments, moves, kids, and all the other obstacles stop me. It could have been easy to give up.
I have been asked so many times in the last couple days, what is next? I don't know. I am nervous about what is ahead. It isn't about the money, it never has been. But, what if I don't find a job? Can I be happy just being a mom again? After going non-stop for so long, the idea of just staying home is appealing. I worry if that will be enough, especially with the kids in school. What am I going to do all day that is challenging?
Right now, I am trying to enjoy the kids and the rest of the summer.
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